The Year In Review – A Cento

For Stuart Ross, during his tenure at Queen’s University, as writer-in-residence.

1. Global warming blamed for 40% decline in the ocean’s phytoplankton.  Microscopic life crucial to the marine food chain dying out.

2.  The New Oxford American Dictionary announced Monday that “refudiate,” a word made famous by former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, had won its 2010 Word of the Year award.

3. Vast East Siberian Arctic Shelf methane stores are destabilizing and venting. The permafrost contains a staggering “1.5 trillion tons of frozen carbon, about twice as much carbon as contained in the atmosphere,” much of which would be released as methane.  Methane is 25 times as potent a heat-trapping gas as CO2 over a 100 year time horizon, but 72 times as potent over 20 years.

4.  Headlines got it wrong; Sarah Palin not booed by Dancing With The Stars audience.  Some are convinced it could have happened that way, but it depends on who you ask.

5.  National Center for Atmospheric Research warns of devastating global drought.  The Palmer Drought Severity Index. Spiked briefly to -6 in the Great Plains during the 1930’s, but rarely exceeded -3.  “By the end of the century, many populated areas, including parts of the United States, could face readings in the range of -8 to -10, and much of the Mediterranean could fall to -15 to -20.”

6.  “I did see a headline on CQ Politics and they’re way whack, saying that I asked for an opportunity to speak in Iowa… You idiot reporter! why can’t you follow up with a fact, like asking really? Who did she ask?… Certainly evidence of how whack reporters are today,” Palin said.

7.  Oceans are acidifying 10 times faster… 55 million years ago mass extinction of marine species … marine biological meltdown “by end of century” … “toxic jellyfish and algae.”…can’t be stopped with geo-engineering…

8. Reality TV star Kate Gosselin joined Sarah in Alaska for a weekend of wilderness — but reportedly left the campsite after just two hours following a diva-like meltdown! Palin pleaded with Gosselin to stay, but she stormed off “amid an avalanche of insults, complaints and tears”.

“It was a nightmare,” sources have revealed.

9. Sea levels may rise 3 times faster than estimates… could hit 6 feet by 2100.  CO2 levels haven’t been this high for 15 million years, when it was 5° to 10°F warmer and seas were 75 to 120 feet higher.

10.  During her speech to the Tea Party, Palin trained most of her fire on Obama, admonishing him for “apologizing for America” and asking her audience: “How’s that hopey, changey stuff working out for ya?”

11. “There are very strong indications that the current rate of species extinctions far exceeds anything in the fossil record.” 

12. Man shoots his TV in anger after seeing Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol on Dancing With The Stars.

13.  Soils emitting more CO2 as planet warms – “soil contributes to climate warming more than expected.”

14.  Palin says she’ll run for White House in 2012 ‘if there’s nobody else to do it’

15. Future Temperatures Could Exceed Livable Limits – even a 12°F warming would be dangerous for many. 

16. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Palin, Sarah.  Palin, Sarah. Palin, Sarah.  Tiger Woods. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Palin. Palin. Palin.

18. Despair and ailing.

19. Para Sailin’.

20. Finis.

Climate crisis data taken, with minimal editing, from Joe Romm‘s article in  Palin news taken mostly from the NY Post.